My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
