no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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