No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
