so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
