If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
