woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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