I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
