the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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