drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize