But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
