you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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