It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
