how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
