found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
