WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
