We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
