You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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