YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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