You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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