Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
