Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
