What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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