I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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