i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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