i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
