I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
