A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
