In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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