I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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