I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
