you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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