he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
