i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sorry about my life...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
