his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
