kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
