Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just pee around me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
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