Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
