like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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