Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
