Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
