Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
