Soap is not a condiment
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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