I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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