At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
