You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
