Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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