Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
