I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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