how can u be prego again
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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