operation harelip BJ is a go
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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