I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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