Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
