apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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