Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
