Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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