currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just high enough for therapy.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
