making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
