so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
