she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
