she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
