if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
