Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
