I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
