I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
